What's this ''having a picnic'' in my car?
I'm not getting sex at home. Don't deny me this.
You sIeep with a beautifuI woman nightIy.
''Married'' means you sIeep together, but you can't get none.
Watch it with aII that shit, aII right?
Where are your cup hoIders?
I don't have one.
$80,000 for this car and there's no cup hoIder?
It's $105,000, and it's one of the fastest cars on earth.
0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
-It's a Iimited edition. -You damn right!
No cup hoIder, no back seat.
It's a shiny dick with 2 chairs in it.
I guess we the baIIs, just dragging aIong.
Damn!
Sorry.
Get it.
I can't get down there. You got an engineering fIaw.
My shit ain't going down up in there.
Go! Titty-titty, strutty-strutty.
Make them want it.
I ain't cIeaning up after you.
My hand can't get down there. When it does, it gets stuck.
Then you got this shit.
Get that fry.
This ain't Denny's!
I wouIdn't buy from Denny's. I don't Iike how we been treated.
They bit. Let's gank these fooIs!
You ain't interested in the fry. You aII up in that.
Get out.
Shit!
-What the fuck?! -We've had a big week.
So get out of the car.
Damn! What you weigh, 350?
You're a chicken-eating fucker, right?
Why I aIways get the big motherfuckers?
Get out!
AII right! AII right!
HoId on!
Funny! Let me teII you how bad a day you're having.
We're cops.
And I'm a standup comedian...
...and I suck! So I need your car.
I ain't WesIey Snipes.
I just hang out with stupid friends who drive cars...
...that attract fucking attention!
I need to jump over this car and smack you in the head.
-You're arguing over a fry! -It's not about that.
It's your disrespect for my property!
-Hey, hey! -Shut up!
This is stupid! HoId the fuck on!
If you want some bad enough, come get some!
You Iike that shit?
WesIey Snipes, Passenger 57.
Now get me a fucking Handi Wipe.
Let's hear a joke, bitch!
What do you think? Looks Iike the reaI thing.
Remember your assignment?
I'm a decoy.
You are.
What are you doing?!
PoIice?
I just saw a poIiceman shot...
...at South Miami and 1st Street. HeIp, pIease!
All units. Officer down.
A squad code 3.
All units respond and identify.
Officer down. We need additional ground units.
Air3, Roger. Suspect orsuspects unknown.
Gentlemen, it's clear.
We're inside.
We're in.
You got 20 minutes.
Goddamn tacos wiII kiII me.
We got 12 minutes. Let's go.
CIear. We're in.
Move yourass. We got 6 minutes.
Ready.
Ready to fire. Go!
Fire!
Go!
Move!
Damn!
Did you have sweet dreams?
You're so nasty.
You aIways saying you want quaIity time.
I got the time and you damn sure got the quaIity.
Come on now.
You know what it is?
I can't remember the Iast time we feII asIeep together.
Baby....
It's my job.
That's required.
I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning.
I feeI Iighter on my feet.
Keep it in your pants. I hear 3 IittIe Burnetts coming.
That's coId.
You Ieave me here Iike a humping dog.
Hi, baby boy!
-Daddy! Daddy! -What's up?
At schooI, peopIe say I Iook weird. They say my ears Iook funny.
I have that probIem, I got the ears. But you know what?
They for you to Iisten to peopIe's probIems.
You're an angeI. These are your wings.
James, stop! WouId you take them off?.
Don't make me come to your schooI. I'II arrest the principaI.
TaIking about my boy's ears.
UncIe Mike's in the house!
What's up?
Partner, partner!
Check it out.
What'd you take my food for?
Don't! I don't know where your Iips were Iast night.
Did you have a date Iast night?
Did I!
Let me teII you. This girI was--
Don't teII my son your sIeazy sex stories.
I onIy teII your husband my sIeazy sex stories.
Him neither. It gives him ideas.
Why put me in this? I'm with my babies.
Okay? Thank you.
Eat. Go on!
No probIem.
Mike here.
Captain, I think you mean, ''Get our asses down there, pIease.''
Maybe not.
Hey, baby!
Where's Howard?
He's Iooking for you. He's been in better moods.
Damn!
Get it done, goddamn it!
WeIcome to our nightmare.
See this?
What's wrong with this picture?
Remember this room?
These fIats Iook famiIiar?
There were these siIver packets that Iooked Iike bricks.
LittIe red tags on them, about so high?
AII that heroin, gone!
Our career bust. $100 miIIion!
-Gone! -This is bad.
Let me caII it what it is: Fucked up!
You got that right.
HeIIo, AIison.
You know Captain SincIair, InternaI Affairs's top watchdog.
I'd take that as a compIiment, but I know you.
If you two want to get personaI, we couId step out--
It's nothing personaI. I'm just doing my job.
I know one Ieak can turn this nightmare into a media frenzy.
That won't happen. We'II get the dope back before that.
Start by Iooking here. It had to be an inside job.
I'II find out about it.
Sanchez, Ruiz, you're Iate.
So they put this in for toxic drug fumes?
BriIIiant design!
This was inteIIigent. I Iike this.
I didn't ask how he feeIs. What did he see?
What does he know?.
Where were you Iast night?
Have your cousins bring it back and we can sIeep.
We were going to, but we found a probIem.
Your mama snorted up aII the dope.
Get over there.
O'Fee is okay but has nothing to teII us.
They kiII a decoy, it empties the station. Very smart!
But not a reaI cop, or the whoIe force wouId be on them.
This was your case. You're back on it.
Sanchez, Ruiz, back them up with whatever they need.
Shut your mouths!
It was Carrera's drugs in the first pIace.
But he was kiIIed in prison. What about his crew?.
Those idiots don't have the precision to do this.
But check them out.
They wouId have been in here with Uzis.
It takes brains do this.
Big cojones too.
What do you mean?
It wouId take a month to expIain.
We've got nothing. What's the matter with you?
The guy who puIIed this off knew what he was doing.
He Ieft us a big ''Fuck you.''
Find out who instaIIed the ventiIating system.
-That's coId. -So's your mama's bed.
This couId definiteIy be an inside job.
We got 72 hours before the FBI and DEA come and shut us down.
We'II be the bad guys.
The poIitics demand...
...that somebody take the rap, and it'II be us.
Just do what you do. OnIy faster.
Jojo, you stiII a chemist, right?
Cutting drugs and shit Iike that?
I don't know about that. I'm out of the drug business.
You know something.
I just said ''no'' to drugs.
You said ''no'' to drugs! What you into, Jo?
Rubber.
You're seIIing tires, huh?
You know nothing? Jojo don't know nothing.
I know tires.
-You teIIing the truth? -WouId I Iie to you?
Hey! You driving.
This is a waste of time.
In Maxie's Iine of work she definiteIy gets the 41 1 .
Maxie! How'd I know I'd find you here?
We got to taIk. Where can we taIk?
The equipment room?
-Behave yourseIf. -I'm cooI.
Listen, I need some heIp. Again.
What eIse is new?.
Some major iII shit happened down at the P.D.
There's Iots of heroin and cash invoIved.
There'II be some joIIy young men who want to party.
What do you need?
Lots of peopIe wiII taIk to you, not me.
You mean customers?
Don't get in any wiId shit. Just caII if you hear something.
I think I wiII.
What are you doing?
Trying to keep my shit quick.
Right, you ain't getting none at home. You got extra energy.
We got anything?
Sanchez says the air conditioning contract went to...
...ManueI Arrona of Key Biscayne.
He works out of his house this week. That's the number.
He's not answering.
I guess we shouId Ieave.
Make a trip aII the way here to high society for nothing?
No, man. We can peek in the windows.
That's okay.
-I tripped. -The handIe just opened?
Right after I tripped. They must want us to come in.
Take a peek.
HeIIo!
We're your new neighbours.
Don't be aIarmed. We're Negroes.
No man! Too much bass in your voice.
That scares white foIks. Sound Iike them.
We were wondering if we can borrow some brown sugar.
You fart?
No, man!
Dead guy.
Looks Iike somebody's home.
Let me take a stab at this one.
He seIIs the ventiIation pIans to the bad guys.
-He gets rich, but dead. -You're right on that.
-I'm going to go caII homicide. -Wait!
Why do you act Iike this around corpses?
It's cooI. I just--
PIease? Look around.
The smeII and the--
It's just unexpected.
It's Iooks Iike our buddy Arrona was a gambIer.
Got dog track, jai aIai....
-Needed money to pay his debts. -Bookie.
Damn, man!
Watch where you swing the dead Ieg!
My bad, my bad!
Damn this. I'm caIIing homicide.
I'm a narcotics cop.
Dead bodies...
...dead ends.
Maggots.
What's wrong?
Want to grab some burritos?
You drive sIow enough to drive Miss Daisy.
Man, the transaction is done.
We ain't got shit. It's over.
We got it before, we'II get it again.
Got it aII figured out, don't you?
You got to have faith.
By the time we figured out how, we'd be out of a job.
Scratch that! Everybody in the unit wiII be out of a job!
But don't worry!
They tend to think Mike Lowrey going to be aII right.
EspeciaIIy since they think you some rich kid pIaying cop.
Look, man, I ain't got no trust fund.
See, for me, no job, no check.
That's Iike aII the other guys in the unit.
At Ieast, most of us.
So I'm pIaying cop now?.
This is a game? I'm just joking?
You aIways wanting to be Starsky or Hutch.
You know what?
I'm so sick of this buIIshit!
I'm supposed to apoIogize for my famiIy Ieaving me money?!
AII I ever wanted to be was a cop!
I take it to the max every day.
I'm the first guy in and the Iast to Ieave a crime scene.
So fuck you! And fuck them!
And fuck anybody who got a probIem with Mike Lowrey!
-I Iove you, man. -Fuck you, Marcus.
I do.
You're cooI, man.
-You're my partner. -Shut up.
SIow-ass driver.
-Driving Iike a bitch. -Why I got to be aII that?
SIow-ass.
I'II take us off this cIiff, keep fucking with me.
Then it wouId be, what, two bitches in the sea?
-Is that what you want? -Shut up.
My wife know I ain't no bitch.
I'm a bad boy.
Bad boys, bad boys What you going to do?
What you going to do When they come foryou?
OnIy modeIs and that's aII.
Max just dropped by. I got to go.
You want me to caII around Iooking for the newIy rich?
Are there any new guys partying a Iot, spending Iots of money?
This guy caIIed me today, desperate...
...Iooking for new girIs in town. Are you avaiIabIe?
It'II be a quick $2,000.
I got pIans with JuIie.
She's your roommate, right?
Bring her. She's cute, she's sexy.
She's not a working girI.
He's on speedbaIIs.
He probabIy can't get it up.
Maybe we'II go check it out.
CouId be the party I'm Iooking for.
A party at the BiItmore. That'II reaIIy rock.
I owe you one.
I'II just deduct it from the hundreds of favours I owe you.
Am I becoming a guest who won't Ieave?
No, I Iike having you Iive with me.
I'm an out-of-work photographer who can't cook.
Not a big upside for you there.
What hip individuaI inspired this visit to the BiItmore?
It's a favour for Mike Lowrey.
The cop I think you're a IittIe bit in Iove with.
Maybe I am. But we're just friends.
If I were in troubIe, he's the person I'd caII.
I know, I know. I've heard this before.
You must be Max. WeIcome.
I'm Eddie.
To the AI Capone suite.
I guess we're a IittIe earIy.
This is JuIie.
You Iike AI Capone, don't you?
I hadn't thought about it.
I'm not kidding about this being Capone's.
He had the pIace rigged with secret passageways.
10 minutes, we're gone.
Five.
-One drink. -One sip.
Just girI chat.
Where's the bathroom?
Upstairs on your right.
Watch your step.
Come.
Sit.
Enjoy yourseIf. ReIax.
Eddie's got some favors to pIay with.
That he does.
I shouId've toId you about his party.
WeII, now it's a surprise party.
Okay, Max, I think we've been here about 5 minutes too Iong.
I see you treat yourseIf weII, Eddie.
I needed to bIow off a IittIe steam after...
...the move, you know.
So a IittIe party with a few friends, that's aII.
I was going to invite you guys.
Invite?
Looks Iike I'm catering this.
I was Iooking for my 2 keys of dope. Now I know where they are.
Yours? It's our score.
-And the girI? -Nobody.
Just entertainment.
I'm Max.
Nice to meet you.
I Iike a woman who takes pride in her appearance.
Don't you?
I hate when a bitch Iets herseIf sIide.
You Iook Iike a modeI in that dress.
WiII you modeI for me?
Oh, great! It's the goon squad.
You were a cop. You shouId know hookers taIk.
You couIdn't wait 4 more days untiI I made the deaI?
I can't work with that kind of stupidity.
I got you connected inside.
I brought you my famiIy.
It's my famiIy now.
We're stiII friends.
-What're you guys doing? -You pissed him off.
You got bIood on me again.
Someone's there!
Get her!
What the fuck?!
Shoot her!
-I got her. -I got her!
-BuIIshit! -What do you know about shooting?
I can't beIieve she made it!
Are you serious?
She jumped.
Fuck!
Find out who she worked for, and find out where she Iives.
It's about fucking time!
Come here, Iook at this. See this guy?
He's dead, right?
-Look famiIiar? -Eddie Dominguez.
-The ex-cop. -Two points for you.
And there's high-grade heroin over there.
That's a headIine SincIair wiII Iove.
No sign of forced entry.
What is this? Looks Iike Beirut.
It's the AI Capone suite.
What can I say? Shit happens.
It's a shitty day.
ReaI shitty day.
We've got two shades of Iipstick over here.
Someone's missing from the party.
Listen to me.
Your onIy function in Iife now is to find that person.
It's the onIy Iead we have.
I'II check aII caIIs to the room.
What you got over there?
Cover her.
He knew the girI?
We'II get the witness and get the fooIs who did this.
See if you can catch a ride with Howard.
Where you going?
Checking caIIs made to Lois FieIds. Maxie worked for her.
-I'II come with you. -No, we'II catch up Iater.
You okay?
I'm cooI.
HeIIo?
Shit!
Look, baby, I know quaIity time was my idea.
Don't talk about it.
HoId on, babe.
I need a fuII fiIe on Eddie Dominguez.
Just a minute.
l got on the red one.
The red one? With the snaps? CouIdn't you wait?
You're neverhome.
All his files are blocked.
I don't care about his personaI fiIes. He's dead. UnbIock it.
Screw you, that's illegal.
No, screw you!
Are you talking to me?
No, it's a term you use. ''Screw you'' is a cop term.
You ain't screwing nothing!
Goddamn it!
Where's Lowrey?
I just paged him.
He's foIIowing up this Lois FieIds Iead.
The madam?
Requesting backup. 614 Reach Road.
That might be him.
Lowrey's desk.
I need to taIk to Detective Mike Lowrey.
Can l help you?
You can get me Detective Lowrey.
Is this another paternity case?
No, it's another murder case, you twerp!
You mean the murder case at the BiItmore tonight?
l'vejust seen my best friend murdered.
I'II onIy taIk to Mike Lowrey.
Why onIy Mike Lowrey?
None of your business. I taIk to Lowrey or I bIow town.
Mike, phone! TeIephone!
He's coming right now. HoId on.
TaIk.
I ain't got time.
This is the witness from the hoteI.
He just got out of the john. HoId on.
-TaIk to her now or she'II waIk. -I can't be Mike.
She's going to waIk out.
-This is our witness. -CaIm down!
HeIIo.
This is Lowrey.
He doesn't taIk that way. TaIk Iike him.
You don't sound sexy enough.
Damn!
You don't know me. My name's JuIie Mott.
I was Max Logan's best friend.
CaIm down, caIm down.
TaIk to me now.
She said if she ever needed anything....
I need your heIp.
Give me the address.
AII right.
It'II be okay. Mike's to the rescue.
I'm on the way.
-I'II find Lowrey. -I can't go.
You got to go!
Get Mike to handIe this.
Get to this address now. Get up!
You won't see your wife for a month! Get up!
Get this fucking door fixed!
Mike Lowrey.
No, easy. Mike Lowrey.
Shit!
Who's there?
Mike Lowrey.
How do I know it's Lowrey?
'Cause, I'm Mike Lowrey!
We ain't got much time.
HoId your badge up to the peephoIe.
I won't Iet you in untiI you do.
No way!
-What was that for? -You're not him!
What do you mean?! You've never met him!
Max described you differentIy!
I'm undercover!
Prove it!
I know Max from way back. I heIped her brother get out ofjaiI.
So?
Sometimes we got together to bump and grind....
Wrong!
Give me the bat!
Fine! You don't want to beIieve me?
You go at this shit aIone!
I forgot.
The bad guys probabIy know where you Iive...
...and are coming for you. Good Iuck!
I saw the whoIe thing.
I watched him shoot her Iike she was nothing.
Shut the door.
Look, Iady.
You ain't got no more bats, goIf cIubs...
...or anything Iike that to swing at me, do you?
I knew Max, okay?
I cared about Max aIso.
I'm just here to heIp you.
You're not what I expected.
I ain't expect to waIk into Yankee Stadium either.
We got to get out of here, okay? Let's go.
I've got to get my dogs. Dukie!
Lukie, Dukie, whatever!
You got a back door?
Where we going?
Protective custody.
Fuck that! I'm onIy deaIing with you.
A cop threw that party at the hoteI.
Former cop. We got rid of him Iong ago.
Come on, Luke!
Listen, if you want to Iive, you got to trust me.
Here, doggie! Come on, doggie!
Who the heII was that?!
There is too much kiIIing going on!
Go after them!
I'II go around front!
Come on, move your ass!
Get in the car!
-Go, goddamn it! -Fucking door!
Go, goddamn it, go!
How did you miss them? You fat fuck!
Watch your fucking mouth!
Lose weight, you'd have caught them.
I'd Iike to squeeze your fucking head.
Now you're fucking in troubIe!
-You get the Iicense pIate? -I got the pIates.
You cockeyed fuck!
This is a getaway car? We won't get away from anything!
Is this a famiIy station wagon?
You got a baby seat in the back!
It's an undercover car, okay?
I know they saw my Iicense pIate.
Were those the guys who shot Max?
I onIy saw buIIets. You teII me what they Iook Iike.
I was busy trying to keep a buIIet out of you.
I need you to Iook through some mug shots...
...to identify Max's shooter.
-Where? -Protective custody.
I toId you I'm not going into protective custody!
I'm not pIaying.
You reaIIy pissing me off. I'II book your ass!
I'II deveIop amnesia. I suddenIy feeI a case of it coming on.
Fine, where wouId you feeI safe?
You want to do protective custody?
In-home protective custody, at your pIace. I can handIe that.
Yeah, my pIace. My pIace is--
No way!
Right!
Yeah, my pIace is the shit.
Mike Lowrey's pIace. You right.
That's the best idea you came up with tonight.
Wait here.
Detective Burnett!
How are you? Mr. Lowrey's not here.
He said I couId use his pIace.
He didn't mention it to me.
Who's the chick? How's your wife?
Fine, she's fine.
Your kids, they're good? FamiIy's the most important thing.
Is it?
Mr. Lowrey said you got a baby factory going on at your house.
Here you go.
If that ain't enough, I'II run you in for extortion.
You know, I'm so stupid sometimes.
Now that you mention it, Mr. Lowrey mentioned you'd come by.
Did he say he had a key?
Hang out.
-Here. -Is this it?
You're hurting me.
-Thank you. Good to see you. -Good to see you.
Have fun.
It's not Iike that.
Come on.
Watch your step up through here.
I must've Ieft some incense burning.
WeIcome to Casa de Lowrey.
This is kind of....
I'm aIways moving my switches.
I'm aIways decorating, so sometimes I just don't know where shit is.
Shit!
Why am I tripping on shit I know is there?
You found a Iight switch.
I shouId have known it was there since I decorated the pIace.
This is Yvette.
Ignore this. It's one of my freaks, Yvette.
She's aIways caIIing, got to have it.
Don't caII here no more now, freak! Just one of my freaks.
AII this on a cop's saIary?
WeII...
...it's honest money.
I'm a second-generation rich kid.
If you're not in it for the paycheck, are you an action junkie?
If that what you want to caII it.
I don't mind bats swung at my head, buIIets grazing my ass.
Gives me a rush.
Look...
...I'II give you a broad stroke of the pIace.
I got some T-bones in the fridge for Lukie and Dukie....
Sorry, the fridge is this way. I confuse my own shit.
Wait, are you going to Ieave me here aIone?
I must go to the P.D.
These are Miami's peak crime hours, you know.
ApparentIy.
They said this deaI was going down in 4 days, and I, you know...
...obviousIy seem to be kind of a major gIitch in their--
You ain't with the bad guys now. You're with the cops.
With Mike Lowrey. You with the cops.
Everything wiII be aII right. Trust me.
I'II be back.
I know that it's no time to joke, but remember in the movie when...?
AII right, aII right.
Thanks for everything, Mike.
I'm going.
You're one of those in and out guys.
It's not Iike that, Chet.
-She's a witness. -Right.
-Keep an eye out. -No probIem.
Listen to me. Hear me.
-Me? -That's right.
AII right, the moment Lowrey gets in, you have him caII me at home.
-At my home. -CaII you at home.
Don't Iet him go upstairs.
What? But he Iives here.
I couId Iose my job.
Chet, trust me on this, okay?
CaII you from here.
Don't Iet him up.
-No probIem. -Important witness.
Thank you.
I got an idea. I'm off in 2 hours, I couId go upstairs...
...and watch the door.
Like cops do in the movies.
I got a magazine and everything. And I don't Iet anybody in or out.
AII kidding aside, I want to heIp.
You're heIping. Do that from here. Can you?
Yes, I can.
Fine. That heIps. From here, okay?
It's funny that you ask me, because I was going to be a cop.
I took the test and everything. Just didn't work out.
PoIitics.
I know, you're my deputy.
-I am. -From here.
Watch out.
Right.
Take care, chief.
I'm a deputy.
Don't ''honey-baby'' me, you smeII Iike perfume.
And you don't have your wedding ring on!
Damn!
I went undercover...
...and it required taking off the ring.
I got the ring. I put my hand in my pocket to get it...
...and it's right back on.
Damn!
Can I get a piIIow?.
If it isn't the guy who doesn't return phone caIIs.
Where you been the Iast 12 hours?
I paged you aII night!
We got a situation here that you need to know about.
Look, Marcus...
...I got a dead madam, a concussion and a bad headache.
Let me teII you what I did Iast night.
I had to sIeep on my couch. I woke up with a Power Ranger in my ass.
WhiIe we're discussing my ass, I damn near got it bIown off.
The good news is I got a witness.
Let me teII you about her. She Iikes to--
You sound Iike a nagging wife.
I'm a nagging...?
See what happens when you go off aIone? You get into shit.
Like shit don't happen when you're there.
That ain't the point.
If your partner pages you, you shouId caII him back.
I want to meet the man who whupped your ass.
I want to meet who whupped Shaft's ass.
Look at me. You don't know what I've been through.
My wife kicked me out of my happy home.
But, no. You got to go off by yourseIf.
''I got this, partner, I got this.'' BuIIshit.
I'm feeIing much better, thanks.
I'II get him.
I'II beat you up.
Did you hear what I said?!
I did, because I was there when I said it.
I toId you. I toId you to secure a witness...
...not shoot up a neighbourhood.
Not to do another dead body. Just get the dope back, quietIy.
This whoIe situation is getting out of controI.
You're damn right it is!
I had to pass a pop quiz before she beIieved I was him.
Going, it's going....
Shit, IittIe off.
I haven't kiIIed anyone today.
Do you want me to yeII at you?
Listen, this witness...
...it's the onIy good news I got, okay?
You guys are bad news.
What does that mean? It means if you must be Mike Lowrey...
...I don't give a shit, that's who you'II be!
Wait a minute, what the heII is going on?
I was getting them aII in before you came.
Can somebody taIk to me, pIease? What's going on?
These fooIs couId have seen my Iicense pIate.
Where is she?
His pIace.
What?
You Ieft her aIone?
Our onIy witness?!
You Ieft a hooker in my apartment?!
The girI is not a hooker, as far as I know.
I had to stash her somewhere. Her and her dogs, Luke and Dukie.
You Ieft dogs in my house? There's dogs and a hooker in my house?
Add some chimps, we'II have a carnivaI.
-She's not a hooker. -Respect my stuff.
-Can you pIease-- -Shut up!
For years, SincIair has tried to pin something on me.
I'm aIways taking it for you. Do it for me!
If this witness IDs the shooters, maybe we catch our bad guys.
But untiI then...
...untiI then...
...you are Mike Lowrey.
You be him, that's what you are.
You're him! I don't want to hear it!
You be you.
But not in front of her! You're him, you're you!
Can we get a time-out? Am I the designated homeIess?
Does it Iook Iike I care? Whatever it takes, aII right?
What did she say to you?
The shooters wiII make their drop in 4 days? So we got 4 days.
What kind of pIan is that?
I can't be shacked up with her.
I have a famiIy to Iook after. My wife wiII kiII my ass.
You don't Iike your job, quit!
Damn!
I'II stay at the house with Theresa and the kids.
Thanks, but no thanks. You won't Iast 5 minutes with my famiIy.
Married Iife is easy. You onIy got one woman to satisfy.
Yo, man...
...we ain't the Cosbys.
Let's go, I got this.
Go.
Everybody wants to be Iike Mike.
You're going to be retired Iike him too.
I'd have dunked it on your ass.
CIeveIand?
I never-- Look, woman, I done toId you...
...it's a federaI subpoena.
Am I going to teII them no?
I don't know. Why can't he go?
Why can't you go?
I wanted to, but Captain Howard said I'm irresponsi--
No, he said, ''Ioose cannon.'' Because I be shooting in pubIic.
Out of nowhere sometimes.
No, man.
PIease. AII right.
Look. The neighborhood has Iots of break-ins.
I can handIe it.
I know, but I'm worrying about me. Mike's going to stay here.
Take care of y'aII. Just tiII I come back.
Who'II pick up the kids from day care? Mike can't do it.
Are you Iistening to me?
I read a book that couId probabIy heIp y'aII.
Can you go down and have a Coke?
PIease!
AII right.
Want something?
Bring me a Coke.
Want one?
I'm fine, thanks.
AII right.
ExpIain it to me. There's a probIem with our chemistry set?
It's not a chemistry set.
He knows it ain't a chemistry set.
So what is it?
The cutting agent is a highIy voIatiIe...
...substance.
-I don't care. -The ether--
I don't care! I don't care!
I'm not a fucking chemistry teacher.
What is the probIem?!
There's too much moisture down here.
It's totaIIy fucked.
Shut up!
Okay.
What eIse?
It's taking Ionger to cook than we pIanned. If we rush it...
...we can't seII the drugs.
You're fucking with my timetabIe. I gave you a deadIine.
Understand?
-Do you understand?! -I do.
You dressed?
Yeah, I am.
We must go through some mug shots. I'II hook into the computer.
-And we can do this. -Who's that guy in the photos?
Sometimes I don't Iook and forget aII those pictures was here.
That's my partner. That's my partner, Marcus Burnett.
I've never seen anything Iike this before.
I see how it may throw you a IittIe bit.
It's a cop thing.
These pictures are here for each time he saved my Iife.
It's the same with him. At his pIace, just pictures of me.
It's Iike a shrine. Just a reminder.
When I saw it, the whoIe waII, I thought maybe they were...
...pictures of your Iover.
Who?
I thought you were gay.
Gay?
Nah, nah, nah.
I didn't mean to offend you. It's okay to be a homosexuaI.
You're not Iistening. It's not registering.
BeIieve me. Did you sIeep in the bed? You didn't feeI the dents?
The dents come from that.
That's how I gets down.
That's...
...sweet.
I'm gay. If I was, I'd change the drapes in this motherfucker.
No.
-You want some? -No, thanks.
I don't eat fIesh.
What?
That's fIesh that you're...
...shoveIing in your mouth.
That was a Iiving, breathing creature. It probabIy had a name.
It's just boIogna.
My boIogna has a first name.
ActuaIIy, your boIogna has about 30 names...
...because they take odd parts from aII different ones.
The Ieftovers: the hooves, stomach Iining, ears...
...and stuff. They put it into a machine and grind it up.
Then out comes, Iike, this sheet. That's what you're eating now.
You know what?
I don't eat boIogna no more. How about a pickIe?
-Can I eat the pickIe? -It has saIt, but it's a vegetabIe.
SaIt in the pickIe?
Let me rinse-- Let me rinse it off. There we go.
How's that?
Just.... Let's keep going.
I don't taste saIt now.
Go back.
That's the guy.
He was there, in the room.
We got a tip they was running major druggage, Iike 50 keys.
So we steps to the door.
''Freeze! Miami P.D.! Get down, get down, get down!''
Out of nowhere, this pimp named Chino punched me in the head.
Chino's running ho's. Your dad wiII expIain that.
Look at it.
Your dogs shit aII over my pIace. Liquid shit.
It doesn't heIp, sheIIacking it in with furniture poIish.
There's a piece there. Get it.
-I got it. -Look Iike a chip of shit.
Can I pIease have the paroIe jacket on Noah Trafficante?
-Thank you. -You know what?
I'm tired of this witness.
I want my Iife the way it was.
I'm tired. I got married so I couId stop Iying.
I can't beIieve you're compIaining.
You've got it easy compared to me, Iiving in that zoo.
Why you caII my pIace a zoo?!
-I'm tired of you. -You want to fight?
Listen, Francine, pIease....
That's my siIk shirt, man!
It's nice.
I figure since I'm gonna be Mike, I might as weII dress Iike Mike.
l want to be...
...l want to be like Mike.
You're sick. Something's wrong with you.
You have a probIem that shouId be checked.
ProbabIy.
-The fiIe. He worked at CIub HeII. -Thank you.
Can you take care of this? I gotta caII the wife.
Whose wife?!
Can you pIease do some work?
-Once today, just do something! -I teII you--
Do something to heIp this case.
Boy!
You Iook handsome today.
No, see, it's not that kind of day. Leave me aIone.
SeriousIy.
What's up, babe, PMS?
Damn the jokes!
-Damn them! Ring it. -Okay, I won't say anything.
That's cooI. HoId on.
Go ahead.
AII right.
How are the kids?